Sitting here and reflecting

Today was supposed to be the last official day of classes. I thought, I just need to make it until today...no more Hebrew homework. I've finally made it!! It's been a grueling existence since August and I finally made it!

Right. My professor asks me at the end of class today if I want to come tomorrow anyway (like I normally would on Thursdays) since he will be there anyway. What can I say?? He's going to be my graduate school chair this fall...it's not like I can really tell him no. So, I am sitting up again tonight doing more translation homework to go over in class tomorrow. It's well past midnight, again. But around 11:45 R. woke up crying. I found myself in another agonizing situation where I want to be two things, need to be two things, but cannot be. M. had to get up with R. feed him some juice, rock him and hold my baby until he fell asleep again at 12:30. Now this might not seem like anything big to some people, but my baby needed me and I had to be doing something else. Sure, I could have taken him for an hour, then gone back to my homework and just not really slept tonight...but not night after night. It's a tough choice to have to make. And it sucks.

My kids, heck my whole family, has had to give so much to help me get to graduation. I don't know if it's fair to them to have to sacrifice so much. It's certainly not a mother's first choice for them. However, I do hope my older girls will remember how much I had to sacrifice myself, how much work I had to put in to get my education. I hope they remember how important it was to me. I am forever grateful to M. for all he's had to do. He's had to take over so much of the family and household responsibilities so I could do homework day after day, night after night.

Graduation next Friday will be for all of us.

Ok, it's offical.

R.'s name was officially changed on Monday. Yay! M. was put on his birth certificate as the father and we just added his last name on the end of his name. I decided I wanted to keep B. in his name because of the reference to my mom and the story of him. So, he has two middles names, basically. His name is now R. H. B. S.

So, M. goes over to the Social Security office to change his name there too. I cannot believe how STUPID they are...really. They refused to simply take his NEW and OFFICIAL birth certificate to change his last name. They told me I had to get a letter from his doctor stating that this is really him and he really is alive and mine. What the hell?! Seriously?! WHY oh WHY would they require more than his own birth certificate?? It has the lists of amendments on it with the dates and everything! I may not be the brightest person in the world, but I'm thinking there are some doctors out there that would fake the letter for someone...am I right?! It's a whole heck of a lot more difficult to get an officially sealed fake birth certificate from the Health Department!!

M. looked at them like they were crazy and I just am dumbfounded!