MRI's suck, really.

I think whoever invented MRIs was a sadist. Seriously.

Ok, so I went today for my scan. S wanted to go and take R because she wanted out of the house. I told her that watching a baby in a waiting room isn't much fun, but she insisted! R loves his sisters all SO very much. It makes my heart sing to see them as little surrogate mommies to him. It gives me peace of mind to know that if I run errands or have to go out that they take care of him just like I would.

My MRI was scheduled in early evening, so no one was around. I go back and the techy starts hooking me up and asking me which arm I wanted my IV/dye to go in. Really, dude...I have like a dozen kids. I have been poked from top to bottom...just pick somewhere and run with it!

And let me say this: I was scared crapless for the dye. My body chemistry is so much like my mom's was. She once twisted her ankle and they did the dye (old school in the 80s) and she was allergic to it. She had a seizure and ended up breaking her back in a couple places. Eek. I told the techy dude and he wasn't too thrilled with that but assured me that the dye has come a long way since then. Luckily, the dye was uneventful. LOL

Music. You now get music via headphones. He asks me what genre I would like and I just said rock. He asks me light or heavy. Heavy. Now, what a horrible choice that was! Let me explain. I love me some heavy rock, I really do. What you do NOT want, however, is to be trapped inside a coffin with speed metal playing loudly in your ears. It doesn't calm you down! LOL It is actually rather disturbing!!

Ok, and now the coffin part. I am usually not a claustrophobic person, but that machine is ridiculous!! Closing your eyes doesn't help. Nope, not one little bit. And then they keep asking you to take deep breaths and hold them. Yeah, because when you are freaking out that you might be being buried alive, you should hold your breath! And when they tell you they are going to really push the dye and not to freak out, not helpful. Really, don't warn me. Feeling that crap moving across your body is a lot like feeling a snake crawling underneath your skin. Ugh. And plus, you can taste it. Metal cravings anyone?

Next week is my upper G.I. scope. Should be fun.

And while I'm at it, can R please just walk already?! I know that kid is going to take off first thing when I leave to go to my class. I just know I'll miss it. :(

And last thing...it seems so many of my friends are so unhappy. If I could give them all one piece of advice, it would be so simple: If you want to be happy, be.

Thursday!

I went to a comedy club owned by a friend of ours. Sinbad was preforming his standup routine tonight. It was GREAT!! He is wonderful! But the best part was after the show was over...we stayed afterwards to talk to the staff and we also talked to Sinbad for a couple of hours! Nearly all the way until midnight!!

He is such a really NICE guy and very intelligent. It was awesome! He's just so down to earth it was hard for me to fathom I was really sitting there with SINBAD!! I had to giggle. He heard someone say that I had six kids and he was dumbfounded. LOL He told me that there's no way six babies came outta me! LOL It was funny and I'll take it as a compliment. HA!

If you haven't seen the pic, email me and I can send it to you. What a trip!

Sitting here and reflecting

Today was supposed to be the last official day of classes. I thought, I just need to make it until today...no more Hebrew homework. I've finally made it!! It's been a grueling existence since August and I finally made it!

Right. My professor asks me at the end of class today if I want to come tomorrow anyway (like I normally would on Thursdays) since he will be there anyway. What can I say?? He's going to be my graduate school chair this fall...it's not like I can really tell him no. So, I am sitting up again tonight doing more translation homework to go over in class tomorrow. It's well past midnight, again. But around 11:45 R. woke up crying. I found myself in another agonizing situation where I want to be two things, need to be two things, but cannot be. M. had to get up with R. feed him some juice, rock him and hold my baby until he fell asleep again at 12:30. Now this might not seem like anything big to some people, but my baby needed me and I had to be doing something else. Sure, I could have taken him for an hour, then gone back to my homework and just not really slept tonight...but not night after night. It's a tough choice to have to make. And it sucks.

My kids, heck my whole family, has had to give so much to help me get to graduation. I don't know if it's fair to them to have to sacrifice so much. It's certainly not a mother's first choice for them. However, I do hope my older girls will remember how much I had to sacrifice myself, how much work I had to put in to get my education. I hope they remember how important it was to me. I am forever grateful to M. for all he's had to do. He's had to take over so much of the family and household responsibilities so I could do homework day after day, night after night.

Graduation next Friday will be for all of us.